Perfect Stranger

BOOM BOOM!!”  How did I know to turn the heat off the stove?  How did I know to tell Gabby to take Katie in her room and not come out until I said?  How did I know that something was so incredibly wrong? 
Still in my work out clothes, I open the door to see the “mean” John standing over me.  I still remember what he looked like.  He was very tall, husky, with dark hair.  He was cold and heartless, or so I thought.  With him were several other officers and this blonde lady agent that seemed so…different, she was hard exterior but I felt softness in her eyes.  John asked where Chris was and I told him he wasn’t home, he went to get the kids, and would return shortly.  He then expressed to me that I needed to take my girls and myself out of the home, for our protection.  WHAT?  What did I need protection from?  Him?  He was not answering my questions.  I was feeling furious!  I could not even walk around my home, get my girls from the room, or even change my clothes without the blonde lady following my every move.
As I walked across the yard, with little hands in each of mine, I made it to my parents.  As I looked back at my home, I felt like the next time I was going to walk into it life was going to be different.  Standing outside of my parent’s back door, I watched as the officers paced back and forth down my driveway.  It was like something off T.V.  But this time, it wasn’t someone else’s life, it was mine.  Something bad was going to happen, I felt it.  I called Pastor Nathan to tell him what was going on and that I would be back in contact later.  I just needed his prayers and I had faith that he would.  I of course called Chris to warn him.  Something in his voice made me uncertain.  Again I felt something in my gut tell me this was going to be horrible. 
I saw Chris’s truck pull up into the main driveway in front of his parent’s house.  I noticed it stayed there for a bit but wasn’t sure why.  John told me to stay at my mom’s and not to come back without his approval.  I saw Chris get out of his truck and then he was gone.  I couldn’t see him.  But guess who did?  My daughter, Gabby.  She saw him step out of his truck and get slammed up against the hood and handcuffed.  I can’t begin to imagine that sight.  She will never be able to put that completely out of her mind.  That will be something she sees for the rest of her life.  Almost immediately John was back over to me.  He requested to come back to the house because there was something he needed to discuss with me.  Of course I asked if I could bring my mom.  There was no way I was going to hear whatever it was without a support person, especially since the person who was suppose to be my support person was temporally unavailable.  I remember walking over with my mom, looking at my daughters in the sliding door window, not realizing how much our life was about to change.
All the officers were outside watching over Chris at this point.  (Excuse me; this is where my heart stops beating for a moment).  I was standing in my kitchen, leaning up against the island.    Standing there with me was my mom and John.  I was really starting to hate this man at this point.  He began to tell me that Chris was arrested and was going to jail.  He further explained that Chris was going to probably go to federal prison for his crime.  I was screaming inside, “What crime”?  I could barely breathe, forgot about talking.  John explained to me what Chris had been doing since November 2010.  Chris started off being on an adult porn site, chatting with other woman.  He then was introduced into what they call “kiddie porn.”  I DISPISE those words!!  They make me want to throw up!!  He went on to explain that Chris had thousands of photos of children on his computer in several different sexual acts.  The children were not 16 or 17 like Chris told me, but started with the young age of 2.  Children were being abused; innocence taken from their bodies, there was such pure evilness in these photos.  I found out that he got busted from an undercover agent in Albany, NY.  Seems Chris was trying to meet up with a 13 year old girl.  They were swapping photos and making plans. 
If that was not enough, my whole world came crashing down on me when John began to show me some of these photos.  Oh God, why did he have to show them to me?  Why?  Then, I knew my answer at once.  One particular photo was of Chris enjoying the photos.  John had to ask me if that was Chris in the photo.  In this moment, I felt my stomach turn upside down and inside out.  I couldn’t breathe.  I looked at my mom.  I know my face had to be saying “Could this be really happening?”  I felt my knees go weak in absolute disgust.  I got enough courage to say yes to John.  All of sudden “mean” John was no longer mean to me.  He just saved my family from further harm and heart break.  He looked sweet to me instantly.  I could tell he really cared about putting the bad guy away and protecting the innocence. 
I asked if I could see him for a minute, ask him why, maybe hit him.  As if reading my mind, John told me I couldn’t get to close or I would be forced to the ground and land in jail too.  Ok, hitting him was out of the question, darn it!  As I walked out the door, down my sidewalk, and seeing him in the back of the police car, everything seemed to be in slow motion.  They opened the door so I could see him.  I saw him shaking, gagging, and shaking his head.  All he could say is “They are setting me up.”  He said those exact words a week ago, but this time, I didn’t believe him.  To me, this man I looked at was a stranger; he was the perfect stranger because he was two men.  One man, I loved deeply with all my heart and another man that I hated with every ounce of my being.  As I walked away, I could hear him calling, I never looked back…
(Before I go any further, I want to put people’s minds at ease.  He physically didn’t harm my babies or anyone that I know.  His path was destroyed before it got that far.  And I thank God EVERYDAY for that miracle.)

6 comments:

  1. And I thought your last entry dragged up some old emotions! If Mama hadn't waited until the police cars had left to fill in some of the details I would be in jail today. To say I was Angry would be like saying Hitler was a bad boy. I had asked her why she didn't give me the whole story up front! She said John had asked her to wait until they had left to tell me, "And by the look on your face I can see that was a wise suggestion." A part of me is glad that you're past this part in your blog. I hadn't felt that emotion for a long time. I'll be glad to put it away again.

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    1. Last thing I want to do is make anyone relive anything, bring back the pain. But I know I need to really capture those moments to make a real difference. I am glad mama waited to tell you too. We didn't need to lose you too on top of everything else. You had to know how much absolute strength it took me not to rip his head off but I had my eye on the blonde officer and I knew I couldn't allow my babies to see me be taken away too.

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  2. I can't read that without feeling the nausea rise into my throat again. Watching my daughter's life fall apart in front of my eyes, to see your heart break in a thousand pieces along with the disgust of what you were hearing and seeing, the bewilderment and shock on your face, knowing the effect that was going to have on my grand children, on all of us. Topping that off was the knowledge of what happens every day to innocence, to babies, you weren't just reading it in a newspaper, it was now suddenly in your face and it was UGLY and SICKENING and that's putting it mildly. It totally baffles the mind how anyone can find enjoyment in watching others suffer. I can't put my head around it at all!

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    1. I know mama. This took me hours to write. I had to actually get up, walk around, sit down, and regather my thoughts. It was hard! But Lord knows if I didn't have you in that kitchen with me (even though it stunk for you) how I would of been able to handle it without you. You and Papa (and God of course) has been there every step of the way and I am so grateful for EVERYTHING!!

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  3. I'm glad I was there for support but I've no doubt you would have handled it like you've handled everything else, with bravery and steadfastness! I'm very proud of you!

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    1. Don't make me cry mama. Thank you so much!! I love you!!!

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